and if it's real i don't want to know
by bjaarcy
Summary: The missing scene from the Break Up that we never got for Klaine. -Obvs, spoilers up to there, ONESHOT


Kurt told Finn that he had wanted to talk to Blaine.

What he didn't count on was a yelling match filled with tears and things he knows he's going to regret later.

Rachel had left early, too overwhelmed by Finn's absence, leaving Kurt and Blaine alone in the loft.

She should've stayed. Maybe it wouldn't have come down to this.

"_I was lonely too!_" Kurt rages, pulling at his hair. "But that didn't mean I fucked the first guy I saw!"

"You have _no idea_ what it's like without you, Kurt," Blaine snaps, his face inches from Kurt's. Kurt can taste the mint of toothpaste through Blaine's mouth, and there's nothing more that Kurt wants than to kiss Blaine senseless until Kurt has the taste of mint in his mouth too.

But he can't because Blaine keeps yelling.

"– and you _never_ have time for calls anymore!" Blaine says, panting harshly. "Kurt, I felt like you couldn't bother giving me the time of _day_ anymore, and I – I just –" Blaine looks away, his face falling into his hands and crying, his shoulders shaking from the effort. Kurt bites his lips, fighting the urge to wrap his arms around those thin shoulders and calm him down.

He doesn't give in.

Shutting his eyes tightly, Kurt's breath leaves him in hisses, and rubs his lids roughly with the back of his hand. He gently tugs on Blaine so they can face each other. Blaine looks at him with such wide, heartbroken, tear-filled eyes, and Kurt knows that he can't do this. Not now, not with emotions running high and Blaine's confession still hanging heavy and apparent between them.

Kurt cups Blaine's face with a gentle hand, biting down a whimper that rises up his throat when Blaine begins to nuzzle into his palm, his tears staining Kurt's fingers.

"Blaine," Kurt's voice cracks. "I think-I think we need to –"

Blaine outright _sobs_ then. "_Kurt,_ no, _please,_ Kurt pleasepleaseplease – _no_ –"

Kurt shuts his eyes, shaking his head and trying his hardest not to given into the hazel eyes that he wants to drown in so bad. When he looks back into Blaine's eyes, Blaine has both his hands clutching at where Kurt is still gently holding him, his fingers trembling and unwilling to let go.

Kurt slides his hand out.

"I'm sorry, Blaine," Kurt croaks, uncaring to the fact his voice is cracking. He ducks his head, tears falling down his face and snot grossly dripping out of his nose, but he doesn't care. Looking up with a firm look in eyes watery eyes, he says calmly, "I think – I think you need to go, Blaine."

"Kurt – _Kurt_ – I, no – _please!_" Blaine begs, stepping forward with his hands reaching for Kurt, but Kurt backs away, shaking his head and lifting a palm up to stop him.

"Blaine, you _really_ need to leave right now," Kurt says, pushing Blaine's grabbing hands away as he shakes his head.

He begins to walk into his room, packing up Blaine's things and stuffing them messily into the luggage he brought. He doesn't listen to Blaine's broken cries, the heartbreaking pleading, or the desperate begging Blaine says throughout all of this. Kurt just brushes him off, shaking his head. Once he's sure Blaine's things are packed, he drags the luggage over to the door, where Blaine's awful sobbing follows him.

Kurt opens the door.

"Kurt, no, _please,_ I'm so sorry _please,_" Blaine continues to try, but Kurt can only shake his head, his lips pressed tight to hold back the sobs he wants to let out.

Wiping his face roughly with his hands, Kurt crosses his arms. "Blaine," is all he says.

"_Please!_" Blaine yells, his voice cracking halfway. "_Please _don't do this, Kurt, I –"

"I-I-I think we both need some space now, Blaine," Kurt says, looking away as he nods his head to himself. But he knows it's not true. He knows Blaine knows it's not true. The truth is that they need to work this out like they always do.

But Kurt can't do this when his heart breaks with every tear that falls from Blaine's eyes.

Blaine continues to cry, his breathing heavy and uneven.

Looking up with weary eyes, Kurt cups Blaine's face again, coming close enough to kiss him softly on the forehead, and Blaine automatically wraps his arms around his torso. The crease lines beneath his lips don't smoothen out, and that's how Kurt knows that this is actually happening.

That it's over.

"I'll always love you, you _have_ to remember that," Kurt says quietly, tears streaming silently down his face. "But we need to figure out if you – if _we_ – are still something that can last."

"I'm so sorry," Blaine repeats, his face burying into Kurt's chest as he squeezes Kurt tight. "I'm so, _so_ sorry, Kurt."

Pulling away, Kurt gives Blaine a gentle shove.

"Go, Blaine."

Blaine takes his luggage with one hand, looking back at Kurt with desperate and heartbroken eyes, and he begins to walk.

Last night, when had Kurt walked away first, he thought it was the hardest thing he ever had to do in his life.

He was wrong.

He collapses onto his floor.

* * *

Title from Don't Speak by No Doubt because I'M JUST RUNNING WITH THE THEME HURR LOL.

Also, I honestly regret writing this omfg I wanted to die WHY DID I DO THIS IDK?

xoxo bjaarcy


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